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Insomnia always seems to find it's way back when I'm most exhausted [02 Nov 2006|03:39am]
It's 2:18am. Today I skipped all of my classes because I was to exhausted to talk myself into going. That seems a little ridiculous now that I'm restless at this hour. I just read through the most recent page of my live journal. Why does my own writing fascinate me? I can't get enough. Is that unusual? Does it imply something deeper about my character? "Character" I love that. Using that word in that context makes me feel as if I'm nothing more than someone I created in my head. I suppose thats not far from the truth...any more thought on that and you'll end up in a small padded room with a chicken, an egg, and no answers. I think I'll start writing more. If it doesn't help me with sorting out thoughts and getting some things off my chest than at least I'll have some new stuff to read on sleepless nights. I've felt so caged lately. Stuck in my own mind. I have some pretty harsh thoughts sometimes and in cage is probably where they should be kept. I don't know if I'm happy. I disappoint myself occasionally now. That never used to happen. It'll be interesting to see where I am and who I am at this time next year. I wonder if one day I'll know where I'll be in a years time. I wonder if I'll miss the surprise. Surprise...when you hear a word like that you think of the type of feelings that whatever is might arouse. I don't know if I feel the typical surprise feelings very often. Maybe I'm not at crazy as I think I am. That would be a surprise.
choke me

Because writing on paper looks ugly [21 Feb 2006|09:14pm]
So....somewhere along the way I adopted a thing called being OPEN AND HONEST...I've really only felt that I've had one mutual, completely, open and honest relationship. In fact, looking back on it, it wasn't even completely open and honest but it was the closest that I've been to it. People don't realize how much that involves. It's a lot more difficult than it sounds. I'm "open and honest" with almost everyone but not completely...at least not the "open" part.......................Where the hell was I going with this. Oh yeah...people don't share everything for a reason...People don't want to know everything....some people do but most are better off not knowing every little thing that enters your mind. Most people just can't be rational and understanding enough....Shit I think I'm going off topic again. Anyways...I've decided that I'm no longer going to be as open as I've become...it's bullshit...Some things are just not other people's business. Of course I may cave to anyone who asks specific questions. What can I say? I'm a pushover.
1 gasping breath // choke me

[23 Nov 2005|08:27pm]

Wrote this a while ago....Posting it so that it is not lost.

 

Eighteen people dropped my name last night and they dropped it straight on it's head. My eyelids lifted, my ears still burning, to see my pillow soaked, deep, red. The sun sunk through the slits in the shades, straight through my paired windows to the soul. Lightly brushing each one of my thoughts, in passing, as it found it's way to the real me... The one who's name they'll never know.

 

 

The interpretations, sentiments, and the application to one's self is something I have always believed to be more significant than the actual authors inspirations, or even his/her intentions. (IS NOT TRUE IN ALL CASES)

 

1 gasping breath // choke me

Hear you fucking scavengers [03 Nov 2005|08:35pm]
I haven't had time to update but here goes....I'm BUSY. I'm stressed. Homecoming is this Saturday and I don't have anything to wear. I don't really want to go but I think I'm just gonna get to the verge D-runk (My highest stage of drunkeness:::Sidenote "highest" in no way implies "good"). That should make things a little bit better. I'll make it through regardless. San Fran was fun but I did not get to relax and thats something I could really use. It was great to get to go their though and my favorite uncle was out there on business so he played tour guide and probably saved my dad's life because I probably would've killed my father driving around in that city. He never knows where he is going and it pisses me off.

Yeah so busy, stressed, school sucks, work sucks but everything else is good. Kaylee and I are doing great for anyone who might have been wondering. I think she is now my second longest relationship. She's in first place by a long shot though. LoL Peace.

p.s. To all of you who I haven't talked to lately...I'm sorry. I'm really busy. I miss you all.
3 gasping breaths // choke me

Pysch! [11 Oct 2005|02:36pm]
So, the New York trip is no more. As you may imagine I'm quite disappointed.

BUT...guess what?

I'm going to San Fran instead. I'll have to get used to the idea but I don't think I'll be to upset about the switcherooooooo. I can go to New York whenever...tickets are only like $70 to get there. Plus, I've got a feeling this is the first of many little trips I'll be taking randomly. Oh well. It sucks that I'm not going to get to go see Asia (a friend, not the country) but some interesting business opportunities will most likely be presenting themselves in San Fran so it's worth it.
5 gasping breaths // choke me

Who knows where I'll end up? (Don't answer that...I kinda like not knowing) [03 Oct 2005|07:22pm]
I'm going to New York bitches! Thats going to be amazing. I've never been. I don't know how I pulled if off but my dad decided that the two of us should go for absolutely no reason...My brothers are PISSED (esp. Brent cause he's gotta pick up our slack at work). Go see some art....maybe some broadway, eat a slice or two of pizza, do the touristy shit. I'm looking into getting some tickets to go see Conan, Letterman, The Daily Show, SNL....you know that kinda stuff. I'm going the last weekend of October. I wonder if it'll be starting to get cold? Any suggestions on stuff to do up there?

The most amazing person in the world (Cynthia) thinks I should be a therapist. I think I could probably handle that but I don't see it happening..who knows....I think I'll just stick to helping friends for now.

I need stamps.

OOOH...and I need to win the lottery because that would make things a lot easier/more fun.


I hate writing paper...I wish teachers could hook something up to my brain and download that shit from there. SOO time consuming. Whatever...I have to go Peace nuggas
2 gasping breaths // choke me

The kind of things you just want to run from.... [26 Sep 2005|12:01am]
........right now I feel like an asshole.
.......I'm afraid that maybe I am.
......I feel horrible.
.....I hate disappointing people.
....I feel disappointed in myself.
...Should I be the one to sacrifice?
..I feel divided.
.I FEEL.
I feel. Maybe thats the important thing. She's lucky I care(I even sound like an asshole). Maybe I'm lucky I care.....yeah. Maybe I'm lucky to have someone that I care about. Maybe I should do this to make her happy. Is it worth making me unhappy? I don't think could do it. Why am I making this such a big deal. I guess I've always taken things for "more than their worth" but thats only because I believe everything is worth more than most people think. If you take the reaction, or action, of someone and use that to predict their reactions, or actions in similar, but larger, more important situations you can usually get a pretty good idea of how they'll handle things. Maybe I should be more conscious of that with myself...or at least the possibility that someone else may have figured out that little system out and how it might make me look.

Ok...so Kaylee told me she wanted me to take her to homecoming (here come the disadvantages of dating a girl in high school). I told her no. The conversation went nothing like that but thats what it ended up amounting to. Now I feel like an asshole. Maybe I'm right for telling her no. I'd like to think so. I mean I have been out of school for how long now? PLUS, I've never been to a school dance in my life and I almost pride myself on that. Why should I start now? But I feel so bad for her. She's got a boyfriend who wont take her to the dance and now she's got to find someone else to take her or go alone. I hate disappointing people.

How the asshole in me feels about it:

Big fucking deal, so you don't have a date to homecoming. Your boyfriend is 20 years old. What the fuck did you expect. Yeah, good idea...lets take your 20 year old boyfriend to homecoming so he feels like a fucking scum bag cause he'll probably be the oldest person there. Actually, there will probably be older people but if there is there's a 90% chance they'll be the scum of the Earth. I've never been to a school dance in my life and I had to turn down girls who wanted me to those too. Why would I let you drag me to one. Yes I want to make you happy but I just can't do that. Not this time. Relationships are about compromise. I'll feel like an asshole and you don't get a date. THATS A DEAL.
3 gasping breaths // choke me

REMEMBER KIDS........ [23 Sep 2005|02:53pm]

Everything that isn't in the present is contained (as memories, plans, ideas, thoughts about the future) in your head.

 

You have more control than you think.

choke me

The TIN MAN always had a heart he just never gave a fuck about it [23 Sep 2005|02:17pm]
I wish the "Update Journal" page wasn't almost completely white. I hate it.

I never update this thing anymore. I'll try to start.

I barely have time to do any of this kind of stuff anymore and the free time that I do devote to it should probably be going towards starting one of the two research papers that are due next week. I wonder when I learned to be such a slacker. I can't wait until winter break. I hope Christmas is less stressful this year. I hope I get to go up north and go skiing. I'm to poor right now so I'll have to start saving for it. If I go Kaylee's coming. I wonder if I'm expected to pay for her trip....hmm that seems like something I should find out. By the way, Kaylee and I are doing well. She's amazing. The only negative thoughts that I have about the relationship is that it may, one day, have to end. Thats pretty impressive. Normally, this far into a relationships, I could fill a page with things I don't like and would probably start planning the break up. She's going to college and there is a little bit of a chance that I wont be living in Florida by next winter. I'm just taking it one day at a time though and enjoying it. I love experiencing new things.

Will and I skipped our last two classes Wednesday and went to the beach. It was amazing out thanks to Rita (the hurricane). There were like 6 foot swells. I regretted not checking the surf report and not bringing my body boards. It was a good time though and every time I go out there I think about how much I would miss the beach if I didn't live here. Will and I smoked as soon as we left campus and thats always a good time but coming down and being void of any feeling (except for being tired) pisses me off. I'm starting to think that it's not even worth the high. I'm starting to not like smoking. Occasionally its fun to be high and throw out some crazy off the wall theories and ideas that I probably wouldn't normally have thought of. There are a bunch of other situations when I love it but a majority of the time I just feel retarded and I hate feeling that way. Maybe I'll quit or cut way down soon.

I need to find time to go down to Tampa and party. It's been so long and I miss it. I only party when I'm in Tampa. The people in Spring Hill are no fun to party with anymore and the scenery kinda sucks.

I love feeling like something I say or, even better, write has an positive impact. Any kind of an impact is great but a positive one is even better. It just feels good to think that someone may benefit from my thoughts and ideas. I wish that I had enough money to go to film school and then just sit around and make movies all the time. Even if they weren't big movies and no one really appreciated them. I just think it would be fun to sit around, maybe with friends, and create a movie. Ahhhh........maybe one day.
3 gasping breaths // choke me

She's got me right where they've all wanted me....I'm done fighting [29 Aug 2005|10:22pm]

You know something is big when, in what seems to be an instant, it changes the way you view the world.

I have got to adapt to this just like every other change that comes along. It's challenging and I'm pretty sure I'm not in control, which is new. I've never asked to be in control of anything but myself and I think by focusing on self control I've done good. However, I'm pretty sure I've lost a little piece of control that I've had over my thought process.

My dreams are infected with her face. I open my eyes, and smile with the thought that I've dreamt about something worth remembering.

Classes are going good. I think I'll do good. I can't skip anymore classes due to nights of drinking. Saying it out loud makes me never want to do it again. I missed class because I got too drunk the night before. I love being a fun-loving college kid but that may be crossing the line. I know I've missed class for that reason plenty of times in the past but it doesn't mean it's ok for me to KEEP doing it. That shows a lack of progress. I CAN drink more then I used to be able to and I've definitely developed my partying skills quite a bit but I don't think thats the kind of progress I'm looking for. Still gotta work on NOT calling everyone in my phone right after I've reached the point where I wont remember anything. LoL Good Times.

 

I must cut this short. The Ultimate Fighter 2 is coming on soon and it's the only show I watch on TV anymore.

1 gasping breath // choke me

Sorry for the delay...... [24 Aug 2005|10:57pm]
I never use this thing anymore. I haven't really had the time and I haven't really had anything to say. Or at least nothing I considered important and the important things that have been going on I either don't want to say out loud or I don't quite know how to put into words. Hah! Me at a loss for words?! Thats new.

I miss living in Tampa. I miss the old gang. I miss Diondra. I miss Ashley. I miss Ryan, and Kelly. I miss Meridian and Marc....and all the familiar faces, good or bad, that hang around that place. I miss all the other scattered, random, Tampa people I used to hang out with....ehh, no I don't. I miss getting ready to go out at 12 and not coming home until 5. I have a semi-normal job now. I usually have to be in at 9 but I get up at 6 just to go to the gym, maybe go out to breakfast with the Mrs., and prepare myself for the day....I'm soooo gay. I miss being irresponsible. Well, I miss being more irresponsible than I am now.

I started school. So far so good. Lets see if I can manage to NOT fuck up this time. As Diondra and I used to say...it's time for me to buckle down. I think I'll be fine this semester. Things are a little different this time around. The teacher I had for Philosophy is now my 19th Cent. American Lit. teacher. She remembered me which I found a little odd because I think I may have spoken twice in her class last semester. Apparently some of the papers I wrote left an impression on her because today in class, after my introduction, she found it appropriate to say to the class "Nathan's a serious thinker..." That was only part of her statement and that part I was extremely flattered by...well I guess I was flattered by the whole statement but also a little scared because she pretty much put into words one of my fears regarding this whole school thing. I had just done my introduction in which I said that my major was business but I like to keep my options open. Her whole statement was "Nathan's a serious thinker. I don't know if a business degree would suit you." FUCK....I KNOW BUT WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY IT. I've always had it in the back of my mind that I would probably be more interested in, successful at, and suited for a degree in a social science like psychology, sociology, philosophy, and things of that nature but what the hell am I suppose to do with a degree like that? Teach? It's an Idea but do I really want to do that? Maybe. But I've got so many things going for me business wise. So many opportunities, a great role model and a billion other people that would take me under their wing, show me the ropes and teach me everything they know. I don't know. My dad is a fine arts major so why can't I major in something other than business. I can but....ahhh fuck it. This will obviously be something I fight with myself over for a long time.

God this is a long entry.

My "potential" as I call them, that I mentioned in the last entry is still around. She's more than a potential. I probably like her more than anyone I've ever dated. I can't believe I've admitted that to myself. I really like her. That scares the shit out of me. Normally when I screw things up I'd just learn from it and move on. If I screw this up I'm going to hate myself...but I wont. I hate this feeling. I feel so vulnerable. Disappointment terrifies me. It's kind of hard for me to imagine this going perfect forever but right now the thought of it going down hill makes me sick. However, there is this really cute girl I keep bumping into at PHCC. I think I'll be her friend. Oh, come on! I'm Nathan Gonzalez...of course I've got a plan B.

I'm sure I could ramble on more but this entry has already gotten out of hand. I apologize to all of you who sat and read this whole thing. I'm a dick.
3 gasping breaths // choke me

I'm content....now if I can just manage to stay this way [07 Aug 2005|02:08am]
I want to use up every ounce of potential in me. It's not possible but at least I realize that there is always something new to learn and a way to improve. Human's are just big, fleshy, balls of potential. You could start a cult based on that idea.....if people weren't so lazy.

The Mars Volta, or I guess it would be the people that make up the band, are the best song writers of our time. Just listen to the music....really listen. I think you'll agree. If not then maybe get a little high and give it a spin. It's unreal.

Astronautalis is brilliant. His music may very well be the future of music. His brain must move faster then anyones....ever. He's genuine...and he prides himself on that (which, he should). He's original and he's fearless. Well, maybe not but he's not afraid of fear.

I was going to stay home tonight because I was tired and I'm sick. Instead I took a new potential to Clearwater. We ate dinner at Britt's Laguna Grill (good, as always). Then we went to the beach and went skimboarding for a while. She gave it a shot and did better then expected. Then, we went for a swim. It was fun. The waves were as big as I've ever seen them at Clearwater. Then we decided to go to a hotel swimming pool and swim. I was extremely glad I hadn't stayed at home all night. I got a parking ticket but, as all of you that know me could probably predict, I didn't give a shit. Honestly, I would've payed twice the ticket, and the rest of the money I spent that night, just for the time spent.
choke me

Look me in the eyes! It's the only way you'll see me! [25 Jul 2005|08:18pm]
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
Thats how I feel right now. I hate people or whatever it is inside of you that makes you do the things you do, the things that make you feel the things you feel. It's all useless...can't you see that? I hate that I'm constantly tired and I can't seem to fall asleep. (Someone just called and I HATE that my phone loses signal where I seem to be when my phone rings)

Do you ever just sit back and watch people and the way they act...the little subtle things they do to manipulate people into feeling a desired feeling. Yeah, maybe we've all done it at one point in time or maybe we all do it in some scale every day. Isn't that sad though? Why not just accept things the way they are. If you happen to make someone feel an unpleasant feeling than thats just part of the game but to many of us are running around trying to control how people feel. Does doing things like that make that manipulative, vindictive, bastard feel any better? Probably not. LIVE AND LET LIVE. People are going to step on your toes and you'll step on some toes too. I'd like to tell you that most people don't do it on purpose so there is no reason to feel the need for revenge but there are a lot of people that will "step on your toes" on purpose. However, why stoop to there level?

Sorry, guess I'm in another one of my people hating moods. Try sitting back and just watching. You'll start to see how people work.

I went to Busch Gardens drunk with the ladies (Jessie and Dawn) Friday night. That was a lot of fun. At one point I had climbed on top of our sky-ride basket...probably wasn't the smartest thing to do but that shit was FUN.

Wedding Crasher is the SHIT. Go see it. Buy it when it comes out on DVD.

I'm going to go find something better to do.
2 gasping breaths // choke me

All the things you're doing just show your desperateness....Desperate people make me SICK [17 Jul 2005|10:48am]
I wish you all could see, hear, feel, what I saw, heard, and felt the other night. It may not seem like a big deal but it was one of those moments in life where you can just stop and take in your surroundings and the things your doing and gain a whole new respect for life. Friday night was perfect (with the exception of the presence Marisa trying her best, maybe not on purpose, to make things weird or awkward). Will, Marisa, and I went to Clearwater Beach around 7 and skimmed until dark-30. Just being on that beach during sunset is amazing but skimboarding on it with storm clouds off in the distance giving us one of Florida famous lightening shows while Bob Marley was being played by the band up at the Palm Pavilion. I don't understand how some people can just sit at home and do nothing...or how some people don't enjoy outdoor activities.

I broke up with my girlfriend. Things just weren't working out. I've never fought with any of my girlfriends and with Marisa we were fighting like once a week. Always about the same old shit to. I really did/do care about her but she failed to see that. I guess she just didn't get to know me well enough cause I don't really give a shit about ANYTHING. Most of you know that. I'm glad its over though. I learned a long time ago that you shouldn't have to deal with that much stress in your life and she was definitely a major source of all the stress I've been going through. I don't blame her. Funny how people change in your eyes once you take a step back. I always get the feeling that she's up to something now. She spends a lot of time with will which is cool that they both have a new friend but I don't know. I don't really trust her intentions anymore. I'll just have to give it/her some time to get over everything.

No more serious relationships for me for a while. Oh yeah, I've also decided that its a good idea to be friends with someone before dating them, if possible, no matter what your feelings are.

But anyways, I'm back to my good ole lonesome self and I have some more time for friends now so if you feel I've been neglecting you hit me up and we'll do something. Oh Yeah and I'm gonna set up a trip to the caves here soon so let me know if you're interested
4 gasping breaths // choke me

Almost home... [03 Jul 2005|11:22pm]
I'm in Virginia.

I think those of you who said it were right. I think I am obsessed with change. I think I look at every event as a reason for, or an event to start, change. This place...Well, I guess it's just getting away...whatever it is, it's eye opening. I think this trip will change things. We'll see.
2 gasping breaths // choke me

Its been a while [07 Jun 2005|05:32pm]
I guess It's about time for another entry...I guess I just really haven't had much to say....or time to say it in.

I miss Lakeside. I really do. I have to admit I was wrong about something though. I didn't expect any of the people I met there to turn to last as friends. I don't really know why...maybe because they're a little different from the people I had become friends with in the past. Regardless, a couple of the Lakesiders have turned out to be some good friends (even if I don't see them that much anymore). Thanks guys...you know who you are.
AWWW how touching.....anyways

A few things have changed since my last entry. Some people I considered friends have denied that they ever liked me. I've meet a lot of new people (I'm not sure if they're worthy of a friend title yet) and I even have a girlfriend. Ugh...I still hate that word. I'm not sure how to feel about that whole situation yet but things are going well. I bought myself a skimboard and go semi-regularly so I guess you could say I found a new hobby. It's been what I refer to as summer for a while now and I still haven't gone diving...I'm going through withdrawal. Hopefully I'll be able to go soon and I'm going to try to get more people I know to get certified and maybe buy the equipment so we can go whenever. Or maybe I'll just have to meet some more people that dive.

I'm going to see Tom Petty this friday. That should be a good time. I've been waiting for this concert for what seems like forever.
LoL...Ryan's IM screen just popped up and he asked me if I could take care of "buying the reefers" for the concert LoL.
Come on...it's Tom Petty...You think we're not gonna be LIFTED for that??!?!!! hmm....that last thought inspires me.......


~News For No Reason~

- Its true that weed may distort (as in make them worse) such as, your memory, your judgment, your reaction time, etc. HOWEVER weed makes A LOT things better such as, the big one...MUSIC, food, conspiracy theories, etc.
- Logic, reason, and most other things are often out-weighed by emotion....well at least, in a lot of people...The more emotional ones.
- It doesn't mean you have to dislike someone just because they hate you with a passion
- Starting a quote of the night/day/whatever you want list/book with friends can be fun and serves as literary "photo album"
- Vacations are under-rated...and I need one
- Short guys = Angry guys....its ok guys, remember,some "good things come in small packages." It's not everyone else's fault that you're short so don't be mad at the world for being taller than you
- Most cell phone antennas have no purpose other than to make people believe that flipping up a 2 inch antenna just gave them better reception.
- Being lazy and putting things off never makes people happy. Getting stuff done/doing things does.

Now I'm going to take my own advice and I'm gonna go get something productive done.
9 gasping breaths // choke me

[31 May 2005|09:39am]
I forgot the point of writing in this thing
1 gasping breath // choke me

An Exerpt From Some Advice I Gave Someone...I Thought You Might Like To Read It.... [30 Apr 2005|04:17pm]
"You know what...sometimes(a lot) in life you feel hurt, abandoned, or all alone and it kinda sucks to think that way but you ARE all alone....You're all you've really got and all you can ever really be sure of. Of course, there will be people along the way and friends and everything but no one is ever inside your head...no one ever really knows what you're thinking, how you feel, how you react to things.....That little voice in your head is the only one who will always be there for you so make good friends with the voice and you'll be fine by yourself....you don't need anyone to get by cause all you've ever really had is yourself."
5 gasping breaths // choke me

Maybe it's because its past my bed time but.... [28 Apr 2005|03:36am]
I'm so internally conflicted right now. I can't wait until Friday morning. I can't wait until 5 years from now. I can wait...I have to...I will. I haven't lost my focus so much in a long time. Whats wrong with me. I'm going to blame the way I'm feeling on the lack of sleep and my fading illness.

Random thoughts~

-I've realized that I've been pounded with this "Forgive and Forget" shit all of my life and I don't even buy it. I don't believe that you should walk around holding grudges so, in that sense, I believe that you should forgive people but sometimes people just do things that make them unworthy of any future decent treatment. Is there a word for when you forgive someone but you never care to see their face again because of the quality of person they are. There should be. If theres a word that I'm over-looking someone please bring it to my attention. Otherwise, I will create one.

-Sometimes I hold myself back from actually having/hanging on to certain dreams or goals because I'm afraid of failure. I'm not sure if thats a smart thing to do or not.

-Dissapointment: Still my biggest and most real fear

-Never forget about the big picture. I did. Forgetting about the big picture makes you stress out over needing an oil change. It makes you yell at people OUT LOUD from the inside of your own car...as if you'll make a diffence in the way they drive. It makes you impatient. It makes you care what your food at lunch tastes like. It makes you take social interaction for granted. It makes you dull, close minded, overly opinionated, stubborn, and an asshole.

-Never be so desperate for change that you change the very things that you've strived to become.

-Never forget that when you burn a bridge it doesn't mean there isn't another way across. Just realize how much easier it would be if you still had that FUCKING bridge.

-Love things for their good traits and tolerate their bad ones. You'll have a lot more things that you can stand that way.

-Assumptions have caused deaths or things consider by some to be worse....how many times have assumptions actually done something positive.

-Why the fuck am I babbling on LJ when I could be getting sleep.

-Know the advantages and disadvantages....of everything I guess...I was going to say "of being unpredictable/spontaneous" but you should really know the ups and downs of everything

Despise something...it gives you character
2 gasping breaths // choke me

REBELLION [09 Apr 2005|02:32pm]
I made a decision just now. I was flipping channels in the in the living room and my mom walked through on her way out the door. I happened to be on MTV and a commercial for Meet The Barkers was on and this is how the conversation went.

My Mother:(Referring to Travis Barker)"He's a freak!"
Me:"What? Do you even know who he is?"
Momma dukes:"Who?"
Me:"So you don't know who he is?" (more of a statement then a question)
Maaa:"I don't know. A singer or something?" (apparently this had turned into a guessing game...The point was totally lost)
Me:(Completely disgusted, I waved out the door as I looked away and shook my head)

So I almost feel and obligation to get some tattoos now which I'm completely aware is an act of immature rebellion but hey, rebellion is part of growing up and up until this point I think I've been pretty good about not being immature in these matters. I almost feel like I can teach my mom some sort of lesson through this. I know she probably wont learn and what does it matter if she does learn. Still tattoos are coming.

Comment with your Tat suggestions.

P.S. I've been made aware, by my own curiousity, of a different kind of music than I've been listening to....Check them out ASTRONAUTALIS
3 gasping breaths // choke me

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